These last days I've had an anger inside me.
A rage, a frustration, an annoyance with anything and anyone ,from my wife to that fucking annoying dog next door that barks incessantly, to TV shows, reading people's social media feed to, well anything.
I've been chasing stuff and that's why I'm angry.
Whether it's wanting more freedom to see more people. Whether its wanting to help more people. Whether it's going a bit stir crazy being inside due to this pandemic. Whether it's a lack of patience, case in point, I nearly threw my phone across the room right now as I mistyped something and could not rectify it fast enough.
Whether it's me relying on meditation and mindfulness to fix me, when I know it wont, because im not broken, only stuck.
And that's it. I'm stuck, inside, without other human contact and im seeing , reading, watching other people on social media, radio and TV, being able to go about their business, albeit filmed before a pandemic.
I guess I'm a guy that likes spontaneity and surprises , well those surprises I like , as I'd be pretty sick to like surprises I hate wouldn't I ?
So, in conclusion, I'm in a really foul, stinking, hateful, angry, frustrated, painful mood right now.
I'll get over it in a day or a week or probably boxing day. Let's say its cathartic to write on here and maybe or maybe not post it.
Whether I do or dont, like the weather, it'll get betterer.