You're Already an Expert at Change (You Just Don't Know It)

​"I hate change." "I’m just not good with change."

​How many times have you heard this, or said it yourself? 

In our culture, ‘change’ is often painted as a big, scary monster. It’s the sudden redundancy, the unexpected relocation, the end of a relationship. It’s the disruptive force that throws our carefully planned lives into chaos. 

We resist it, we fear it, and we believe we are fundamentally bad at it.

​But what if this is a profound misunderstanding of both change, and ourselves? 

At Refresh Coaching, we believe that empowering you to live ‘your life, your work, your way’ starts with revealing the strengths you already possess. And the truth is, you are not bad at change. In fact, you are a world-class, elite-level expert in it. You practice it every single second of every single day.

The Myth of a Changeless Life

​The idea that we live in a state of stability, which is then violently interrupted by ‘change’, is an illusion. 

Your life is not a fixed photograph; it’s a flowing, dynamic film. Change isn't something that happens to you; it is the very essence of your existence.

​Think about your day so far. 

You changed your state from sleeping to waking. 

You changed your clothes to suit the weather and your plans. 

You changed your location from home to work. 

You changed your focus from one task to another. 

You changed your tone of voice when speaking to your boss versus your partner. 

You constantly change your words to express different ideas. 

You change the food you eat at every meal.

These aren't trivial examples. They are evidence of your incredible, innate adaptability. You seamlessly adjust and respond to your environment a thousand times a day without a second thought.

​Let’s go deeper. The human body is the ultimate testament to change. You are not the same person you were seven years ago; most of the cells in your body have been replaced. Your blood is renewed, your skin sheds, your thoughts and opinions evolve. You are not a static being. You are a process. 

From the moment you were born, you have done nothing but change. You learned to walk, to talk, to read. You grew, you matured, you learned from mistakes.

​So, if we are masters of change on this micro and biological level, why do we fear the macro changes so much?

​Big ‘C’ Change vs. Little ‘c’ change

​The problem isn't change itself. The problem is our perception of it. We fear "Big C" Change—the changes that are imposed on us, that feel out of our control, and that threaten our sense of identity and security.

• ​The factory worker whose job is automated: This isn't just a change in routine; it threatens their livelihood and their identity as a provider.

• ​The senior executive whose company is acquired: Their role, their team, and the culture they helped build are all suddenly at risk.

• ​The empty-nester whose last child has just left for university: The fundamental role of ‘active parent’ that has defined their last 20 years has changed overnight.

​The fear comes from the feeling of powerlessness. But by recognising your lifelong expertise in "little c" change, you can reclaim your power. You can reframe your relationship with Big C Change from something that happens to you, to something you actively participate in.

How to Embrace Your Inner Change Expert, Your Way

1. ​Conduct a ‘Change Audit’: Take five minutes and list all the changes you’ve successfully navigated in the last year. Include everything. New software at work? You learned it. A different route to work due to road closures? You adapted. A new recipe you tried? You experimented. A difficult conversation you had? You grew. Seeing the evidence of your adaptability in black and white is incredibly powerful. It proves to you that your default setting is not resistance, but resilience.

2. ​Focus on the ‘And Next’: When faced with a big, unwanted change, it’s easy to get stuck on “this is ending.” The key is to shift your focus to “and next…” Your job has been made redundant, and next you have the opportunity to retrain or find a role that is more fulfilling. Your relationship has ended, and next you have the chance to rediscover who you are as an individual. This isn’t about toxic positivity; it’s about acknowledging that every change, even a painful one, is also a doorway to something new.

3. ​Lean on Your Skills: Think about how you navigate small changes. When you try a new recipe, you follow a structure but also use your intuition. When your commute is blocked, you consult a map and make a new plan. Apply the same skills to the big stuff. A big career change requires a plan (updating your CV, networking) and your intuition (what feels right for you?). You already have the tools. You just need to recognise their value on a larger scale.

The world will never stop changing. 

Your industry, your community, and your own body will continue to evolve. 

You can either spend your life fighting this current, or you can learn to swim with it.

​By acknowledging yourself as an expert navigator of change, you transform it from a source of fear into a source of potential. You begin to see it not as a threat to your stability, but as the very engine of your growth. This is how you start to truly live your life, your way: not by avoiding the storms, but by becoming a better sailor.